Meat in a Tube......

Upon moving to Germany the Signorina was a bit shocked by the "German meat culture". She is no vegetarian, but the unexpected mass quantities of pork digested in Germany is something to marvel about. When the Odonata's visit family in Bavaria they bring their own fruit & fiber along to prevent "Verstopfung".

The butcher shops in Germany offer some of the highest quality meats that Germany has to offer. The requirements to become a butcher last years, and each butcher prides him/herself on their own special recipes. Yet, there is something unnerving about the happy, frolicking plastic pigs that adorn the shop windows of German butchers.

The plastic pigs are often assigned genders with corresponding outfits. One nearby shop lures its customers in with a "sexy" pig in a short skirt on its sign.......and the back of the girly pig's thighs exhibit small, red polka dots, which the Signorina assumes simulate the large pores on the "pretty" pig's body.

Some of the butcher shops also display their ground pork which has been molded into the form of a pig laying on it's belly with a radish in its mouth. It is not that the Signorina opposes these forms of creative advertising, such commentary is not her style, but one must admit that in Germany, pork and pigs have a different standing than in many other parts of the world.

The Signorina is also intrigued by the various ways in which pork products are packaged in Germany:

There is "meat in a jar".......pork which is spiced, squashed and smashed, and then shoved into a dainty glass jar. There are "wieners in a jar".......pork wieners/frankfurters placed in an appropriately long jar, to which a pork-friendly, watery substance is added.

The Signoria's in-laws recently gave the young Odonata's a lovely gift of canned "Eisbein in Aspik"........which is to say "Pig knuckle in aspic" (aspic: noun [U]a transparent jelly made from animal bones which is used in cold savoury foods)

One might feel the urge to ask, "Which pig knuckle?", but really one shouldn't dwell on such issues. A polite "Thank you" is what is "in ordnung" here.

But the Signorina's new favorite form of pork packaging comes to us from the good people of the Herta company: "Meat in a tube."..........pork and pork liver in a smooth paste, place conveniently in a plastic tube. The tube is too wide to resemble a toothpaste tube, but it reminds the Signorina of her teenage years as it is the size of a tube of Clearasil. As soon as the Signorina noticed the new Herta advertising campaign, she new that she had to sample this new, cutting edge form of meat.

The answer is: Salty with a hint of chives!

The Signorina wishes you and yours happy eating.

Soooooo, the Signorina has been ill.

Since September. It's been a long and nasty, antibiotic filled 6 months.

It's finally over. At last. The Signorina's tonsils are gone!

The pus pockets are no longer around.....despite their handy ablility to gross out even the most seasoned of medical professionals (which can be quite effective when wishing to avoid the dentist). The sore throat and constant low fever are gone. The mildly aching kidneys have finally relaxed, and as a result the Signorina's moods have significantly lightened.

She will be celebrating in three weeks time with an abundance of scratchy foods. Nachos anyone!

The Odonata Familia has been enjoying the crisp fall weather and the Bambino finally has the proper footwear to take on the city's crunchy leaf piles.

The breezy weather has been accompanied by an unusual amount of rain. This of course means that the Odonata chihuahua-chaperone, Miss Bini, must also be protected fom the elements.

Last season, the Signorina designed a lovely rainjacket ensemble for Miss Bini out of one of her snazzier plastic shopping bags. It was a lovely forest green with small white stars (perfect rainslicker material).
Unfortunately, the Signore found the combination of Miss Bini in her snazzy slicker to be unbearable whilst accompanying Miss Bini on her morning constitutionals. The Signore's exact words were:

"I love Bini, but that is just toooo much."

Now it must be noted here that the Signore is truly Miss Bini's number one fan, but it is also one of his least proclaimed public statements. When he accompanies Miss Bini, he is often asked about her origins or her breed or age. When replying he never forgets to include in the conversation that Miss Bini belongs to his wife.

After the Signore refused to walk the chihuahua chaperone in her handmade rain slicker he politely requested that the Signorina purchase a "normal" chihuahua jacket. From his perspective a handmade rain slicker gave the appearance that the Odonata's are pathologically obsessed with Miss Bini; while a purchased jacket states that she is merely loved and not worshipped. The Signore also implied that the purchased jacket would somehow give a more masculine edge to Miss Bini.

The Signorina, after some consideration, understood the Signore's point of view. Afterall the Signorina's neighborhood is not the friendliest and the poor Signore has endured more than his fare share of snorts and sniggers on behalf of Miss Bini.

So this year the chihuahua-chaperone is sporting her London-Fog-like jacket with the Burberry-esque tartan lining. But because the Odonata's are indeed obsessed with their chihuahua delight, the Signorina has added a few hand-stiched embellishments to the jacket that are only visible upon close inspection.

The Signorina has received many inquiries regarding Miss Bini's clothing. It seems that many people are curious about canine fashion, although they pretend not to be. Here are some highlights from the Viennese Dog Fashion Week for your secret enjoyment: http://www.gegenalltag.at/gallery/dogfashionshow?page=2

The Signorina and Company wish you a lovely week.

The Signorina has been busy this week.

In addition to preparing for an up coming weekend visit from her in-laws...(ah-hem) and trying to find a pair of shoes to fit the Bambino's unusually wide feet, she has been educating herself about the wonders of SCHMALTZ.

Schmaltz, during one of the Signorina's early German outings, appeared on the table in a most curious tin. It looked like Crisco with pepper. It tasted like Crisco with pepper. Alas, Schmalz is not Crisco...it is lard. At first glance the Signorina mistook it for a funny, German candle.

The Signorina has also seen Schmalz mixed with bacon chunks in decorative marmelade jars, adorned most delicately with a piece of lace or satiny ribbon.

Most recently the Signorina discovered homemade Schmaltz at her butcher, Sonja's.

Sonja claims to produce cholesterin-free Schmaltz flavored with apples and onions. Sonja the butcher sells this along side her Goose-Schmalz. ...or Geese-Schmaltz? One can never be sure as to how many goose-ez or geese-ez it takes to fill a Schmalz tin.

As to the veracity of Sonja the butcher's claim that her apple-onion Schmalz is cholesteral free, the Signorina simply suggests that,

one should never argue with Sonja the butcher.

The Signorina was also informed that Schmalz was originally indicative of lard from poultry...parts, but as you have just witnessed it can appear with a pork part or two in it as well.

Here is some additional information from Wikipidia about Schmalz history. You may find it helpful in enriching your Schmalz experience, should you choose to have one:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmaltz

The Signorina wishes you and yours a lovely week.

The Signorina and her family welcome you to their blog!

They live in Germany, and find it a most peculiar place.

Please visit this blog as often as you like. The Signorina is interested in sharing with you some of her family's adventures, as well as updating her friends and family about the bambino and his chihuahua-chaparone, Miss Bini.

There are an array of interesting characters to be found in the Signorina's life. She is especially fond of the tall German, who accompanies her in this strange land.

The order Odonata is divided into 3 subcategories: Damselflies, Dragonflies and Japanese Dragonflies.....and "Odonata" has a nice ring to it when combined with "Signorina"